The
Nuts and Bolts of How We Do What We Do at The ROCK
Clipboards Count!
When Mentors/Helpers arrive
on Wednesday evenings, they find a clipboard prepared especially for them with
both a Mentor Update and a Student Information Sheet attached (as well as any
other item they may need - that week's spelling list, a post-it with info about
a certain child, a magazine article addressing issues pertinent to their group,
etc.).
Clipboards are turned in at
the end of the evening with the Student Information Sheet Attached and any other
comments they need to communicate with the director.
Mentor Update
This contains a listing of
the night's schedule and location of activities and other items which need to be
communicated to the Mentors/Helpers as a whole. Sometimes it is a solicitation
for feedback. Sometimes it is used to announce special concerns/ praise, etc.
Nightly Agenda
Copies of the agenda for
the Large Group Corporate Worship/Praise time are distributed to the sound board
operator, the overhead projector operator and the Worship leader for the
evening. Usually listed on it are specific announcements or prayer concerns for
the evening.
Student Information Sheet
Mentors use these to take
attendance and indicate problems/concerns about kids. They also list names and
info about new kids on this sheet. The sheets are turned in at the end of the
evening - if mentors want copies of the sheets they make them prior to turning
them in. This is where they list requests from kids for clothing or school
supplies, etc.
Large Group Worship
As soon as kids arrive for
the evening, they are escorted into the sanctuary where they are "sorted" into
groups - boys on one side, girls on the other, youngest in front, oldest in
back. Either boys or girls are dismissed to eat in small groups while the
others remain in the sanctuary for Worship and a lesson. After 20 minutes, they
switch. During Worship, we start with a welcoming statement and opening prayer
(which is usually based on "general" stuff unless there is something going on
which all the kids know about). We sing (we use CDs) - with different groups of
kids helping lead. Kids know the basic rules - don't touch or yell into the
microphones and act with respect when they are in front of the group. We try to
dismiss promptly and send them to their rotations.
For closing, there is a
shorter time so there are usually fewer songs. But the time often runs past
7:30
because of prayer requests which are expressed during the night. The director
keeps a "running list" of prayer requests on her clipboard and offers those up
during that time. Sometimes a "popcorn" prayer is used. Sometimes prayer
requests are solicited in the large group (although that has taken up to 10
minutes to do - these kids are prayer warriors). If there is a special need
that night, we may do an altar call or ask a particular group to come forward
and pray with an individual (for example, on a recent night, a mentor's daughter
was very ill and the girls in her group came forward and prayed with her).
Our kids love to sing. But
they also love to pray. As loud and rowdy as they get when we do something like
"Every Move I Make, " they are equally quiet and respectful during prayer.
There may be one or two whispering or acting disruptive, but that is an unusual
occurrence. One way to get them quiet is to ask them to pray.
We use a consistent theme
during the year for topics of BRIEF devotions during the Worship, just to be
sure that bases are covered by all of us. We may talk for a month about the
Bible being the Word of God or how Jesus is God's Son. Verses are repeated and
concepts reinforced.
Mentors sit with their kids
during this time to help with crowd control. In addition, the director
occasionally corrects a child from the front if the behavior calls for it.
Standards of behavior are geared to training them for Church worship services,
while allowing them to have fun. Kids who are totally disruptive are removed
from the sanctuary while the problem/expectations are addressed. They are then
brought back to continue fellowship as quickly as possible.
Nightly Rotations
We have three basic
rotations: Meal (always popular!), Fellowship (equally popular) and Homework
Help (growing popularity), and Worship. These run for a time of 20 minutes
each, with the mentors accompanying kids to each place and the adults in charge
of the rotations staying stationary.
Meals:
It has been our goal to
feed these kids a hot meal each week. Through God's provision and the hard work
and generosity of our kitchen crew, that has been accomplished. Generally, the
meals consist of an entree (chicken & noodles, chili, sloppy joes, tacos, hot
dogs, hamburgers, etc.), veggies and dip, fruit and a drink. Sometimes desserts
are offered, sometimes not.
Meals are served in the
kitchen as well as served family style in a basement room (where one mentor
group goes) and in the nursery (where the preschool/K group meets). Kids use
baby wipes to clean their hands. Mentors pray either before entering the
kitchen with their groups or in the kitchen with them before they start eating.
Serving the food is a
combination of self-serve and prepared servings. Our kitchen is very, very tiny
and allows a limited work area, so food is prepared at home and transported in
by the kitchen crew and may be pre-packaged or packaged for serving on site.
Kids are encouraged to take only what they intend to eat. They may come back
for seconds if it looks like there will be enough food to allow it. (Older kids
eat last so that we have a better idea of how much food will be left over and
can let them have seconds or thirds if needed). Kids are encouraged to use good
table manners, to say please and thank you, to clean up after themselves and to
use quiet voices while in the kitchen.
The kitchen crew meets
periodically to plan menus and address changes in the program. They have also
recently started using some of their prep time (they gather before 5:00) to pray
for the evening's activities and for the director and mentors in particular.
This is a precious blessing.
Homework Help:
Our goals for helping with homework stem from several sources. The primary one
is that kids who can read well can access God's word (we regularly distribute
kid versions) and kids who understand math and science have a greater grasp of
the concept that God is a God of order and wonder. Of course, it also helps with
the obvious factors too, such as school success, economic and educational
opportunities, etc. But mainly, learning to read and do math opens access to
God.
Staffing for the Homework Help varies, but it is usually mentors help with
Homework Help.
Fellowship Time:
This is time
for the mentors to meet with their groups and "talk." Some groups use this time
for games, some for discussions, some for Bible stories. It is left up to the
mentors' discretion for the most part as to what to do with this time.
Transportation
We handle transportation in
a variety of ways. Our local kids walk. Some kids who live in area small towns
are picked up by mentors and brought in their cars. Others who live in
Montezuma (which is where most of the kids are from) walk to one of the two town
parks where they are picked up by a school bus we hire. Kids who live on the
outskirts of town are often picked up in the church van, taken to the park and
then off-loaded onto the school bus. Pick up and drop off at the parks is at an
pre-established time. In addition to the bus driver (who happens to be the town
marshal - PTL), the van drivers also ride the bus to help with crowd control
(thank God for these hearty, brave souls!). Seats are assigned for that night
and girls are usually placed in the back of the bus, with boys in the front.
Mentors
Who they are:
Wonderful,
godly men, women and teens who are essential to the success of The ROCK. Most
are members of our church, although about 1/3 are volunteers who have a strong
connection with another adult involved in the program (this helps with the trust
in turning groups over to those we may not know well at first).
What they do:
Everything
from potty checks to wiping noses to drying tears on any given night. They
referee fights, praise valiant efforts, lovingly correct and almost never lose
their cool with these kids. They faithfully pray for and over these children as
they model Jesus' love firsthand.
Who they work with:
There are two facets to this aspect of mentoring at The ROCK. First, our
mentors work in pairs (to help with accountability and liability issues as much
as crowd control). For smaller groups, mentors may be paired with a teen or a
teen may be assigned to help a pair of mentors with a particularly large or
rowdy group.
Our present grouping of
kids is as follows: Preschool and K co-ed, 1/2/3 girls, 1/2/3 boys, 4/5 girls,
4/5/6 boys, 6 girls, and Teens. We used to keep the mentors with the same age
level of kids and "promote" kids to the next group/mentor. We found that we
lost a large percentage of kids by doing that - they either had difficulty
assimilating into the kids who weren't promoted out of that group OR they
resented leaving the mentors they'd come to know and trust. So we got smarter
and kept the same mentors with the same kids and just adjusted how we do our
grouping. That has been much less traumatic and is allowing for a much greater
level of trust to be built between kids and adults.
What training/support
we offer:
Topics which are covered in training include: Discipline, Enabling, Emotional
Handicaps, Safety and overall Introduction to Children/TeenMinistry.
On the support side of
things, mentors communicate with one another and the director via email and in
person on a weekly basis usually. When possible, concerns are dealt with
immediately. Consequently, the program is in a state of "flux" at times rather
than having things written in stone. As God reveals a better way, we hop to it
ASAP.
The School Connection
In addition, after years of
cooperation, we have a certain level of trust built up with the staff and
administration. They no longer doubt our commitment to these kids, nor do they
doubt our support of what they are doing. We are working together as a team.
We provide school supplies
to our kids and to any child who has need of these supplies. The school has a
closet where supplies we donate (and those donated by other churches and
individuals as well) are kept for distribution as needed.
In addition, we routinely
supply clothing to kids as teachers express needs. We frequently have
discussions with older girls about the need to wear bras and with all the kids
about personal hygiene. We pass out shampoo, toothpaste, deodorant, etc. on a
regular basis and encourage its regular use.
Occasionally, we also
contact parents about issues which are evident at school. We've built up a
level of trust with many of these parents which the school hasn't been able to
effectively establish yet (and not because they haven't tried!).
As draining as it is to run
this type of outreach ministry, it is even more so to try to teach kids daily
who have these unbelievably difficult lives. Therefore, we pray for these
wonderful men and women who teach these kids. And we try to let them know in as
many ways as possible that they are appreciated (including inviting them to our
end-of-the-year banquet).
We also visit the school on
a regular basis. In addition, the director visits the school on Tuesdays for
lunch - talking to kids, staff and passing out hugs and words of encouragement.
The Parent Connection
The biggest
challenge: Obviously,
by reaching kids and introducing them to Jesus, their eternity changes - what
an awesome thing! But by reaching their parents, we also change the lives these
kids live right now. Consequently, while the spiritual warfare for dealing with
the kids is sometimes great - it is truly intense when it comes to reaching
their parents.
However, it is becoming
obvious that the biggest challenge to all of this begins not with the parents,
but with ourselves. Jesus is doing a mighty work in our hearts - a humbling and
significant work of revelation and love.
That work involves learning
to love instead of judge. While that may sound simple sitting in Sunday School
surrounded by other Christians, it is very, very difficult when face-to-face
with a parent who has abandoned their children, who chooses to buy drugs or
alcohol instead of groceries, or who berates and belittles their child.
Many, many of the parents
we have the joy of knowing are not like this. But a few are. And it is
essential that those who are like this are still treated with the same respect
any person Jesus loved enough to die for deserves (which, of course, is
everyone). Acknowledging that on a sometimes moment by moment basis is reminder
to treat everyone with respect and dignity and hopefully love.
Another challenge we face
along with these parents are issues most Americans who fall into the low income
or poverty level brackets. There are preconceived notions about "welfare moms"
and prejudices against ex-convicts. While several of the kids we work with are
from homes which wouldn't qualify for federal government assistance with lunches
(free/reduced), the vast majority do meet those standards. A high rate of drug,
alcohol and tobacco use also decrease income available for raising a family.
So, we as a church have
compassion instead of judging - helping when appropriate and pointing in other
directions when necessary. When parents are in jail, we are trying to send
notes of encouragement and put their names on our prayer lists. We try to keep
in touch with kids as they move from area community to community as their
parents "beat the rent" or try to get a fresh start somewhere else. Reliance on
the leading of the Holy Spirit is essential to determine when to help or when
helping is enabling. We invite parents to attend church and special services
frequently and do a variety of activities to build relationships with them.
The Power of Prayer
How The ROCK began:
It should have been
obvious to us from the start that God has prepared this ministry to be one which
is driven by prayer. Nearly five years ago, eight adults involved with kids
outreach ministry sat down to ask God for a vision of where we were to go and
what we were to do. We all had many preconceived notions and quite a few
forceful personalities were assembled in that room. But as we talked and prayed
and talked and prayed, a common vision came into sight - a focus on connecting
kids with a consistent, caring adult, feeding them a hot meal, and helping them
to learn school and social skills while showering them with the love of Jesus.
The impact of Prayer
on the Kids:
It was really at
the start of the second school year (Fall 2002) that the impact prayer was
making on the kids became obvious. Their interest in praying in small groups
with their mentors was increasing as well as their willingness to pray outloud
themselves. We began incorporating intercessory prayer into the large group
worship time. Kids would seek out opportunities to request prayer for parents
and friends. They prayed for everything ranging from sick dogs to asking God to
help their mom's boyfriend quit beating her. They prayed for freedom from
addiction, for forgiveness from their sins and one awesome night for healing of
a schoolmate (who God has healed!).
This impact of the power of
their prayers has energized most of us adults, as well as humbled us. These
kids approach the throne with reverence, but with a transparency which makes it
clear why Jesus admonishes us to have the faith of a child.
We have learned when a
problem exists in their lives, we stop what we are doing, grab them and pray
with them. Now this may sound simple, but it isn't easy. When there are 75
kids roaming around it often hard to focus, let alone listen attentively to a
child about their cat's hairball. But obedience to the Spirit's lead in this is
bringing about a change in children and adults alike.
A misbehaving kid who is
corrected may learn what he did was wrong. But a corrected child who is then
led to the throne of God beseeching forgiveness, help in overcoming temptations,
victory over bad habits, accountability and love learns much more. A child who
lives in poverty learns to ask God for her daily bread in a much more intimate
way when bread is gone and mom is crying in the other room. Another who's
parent faces jail time for making meth is praying that God will bring good out
of this and that the parent is treated fairly and honestly.
Prayer Partners:
For about 18
months, prayer partners who answered a plea from the director's personal email
list have lifted up individual kids to God's throne. Adults were matched up
with one child - as the Spirit led. At that time, this meant that at least 1/3
of The ROCK kids (the ones with the more desperate situations) were covered in
regular prayer by someone other than their mentor and the director.
In nearly all of the kids
who have been assigned to a prayer partner, the changes in their lives have been
dramatic. Parents who abandoned them have returned. One parent was healed from
a near fatal accident (although a drug problem remains). A step father who
threatened to murder his family is now gone from the scene.
Equally dramatic is the
change in the hearts of those kids. Especially dramatic is the change in
attitude. Toughness and hardness have given way to love and affection. Boys
who were stiff and uncaring throw their arms around us now and offer hugs and
help. Unresponsive kids now dance around the sanctuary in worship.
Recently, more members of
our church have committed to praying for other specific kids, meaning now that
over half of our kids are covered regularly with prayer. We are excited to see
the outcome of this increase intercession.
Revelations in
Prayer: After
earnestly seeking God's guidance in a planning session for The ROCK, it became
obvious that God was telling us that the promise contained in Proverbs 22:6
("Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart
from it") was one we were to claim for these kids.
Another revelation has been
that these children are the Lord's and He will provide for them. While He has
awesomely provided children (nearly 100 are attending regularly), He has also
faithfully provided resources for these kids. Through His people and His
provision, we are operating "high octane" ministry on a shoestring budget. But
needs are consistently met - and exceeded. God is gracious to us indeed.
A final revelation which
came in prayer occurred at a time when several of these children were in
unbelievably difficult circumstances. God impressed upon the director's heart
that it was He and He alone who could save these children - that is not our
job. But, as it is His - through Jesus - He intends to do it. This revelation
has freed us up from the prideful assumption that it is our "job" to save these
kids from their circumstances. The work of salvation is Jesus' and is complete
- it is our job to be His hands, His feet, His voice to them as He leads. It
also provides peace for us when the burdens become so heavy in this ministry.
Community Outreach
Clothes Closet:
For over four
years, we've distributed clothing to ROCK kids - both a combination of used
clothes and new underwear and socks. We are have a small outbuilding which we
use as a Clothes Closet and Food Pantry for area residents as well as the kids.
As we realize needs with
kids or receive requests, we handle it in one of two ways: we let kids look
through clothes and pick out what they need or we sort through the clothes, pick
out what is appropriate, bag it up and deliver it. We've also had times when
parents have had the option of coming to pick out clothes for their families.
This has been a great chance to meet parents.
Back-to-School Community Night: We mailed invitations to this event to all of our ROCK families, passed out flyers at school during registration and advertised it on the local cable public access channel. The response was tremendous. Families came and selected clothing as well as school supplies. Volunteers from our church helped them and took note of what supplies were needed which we didn't have. Shopping trips provided kids with needed shoes, supplies, underwear, socks, etc.